Henry's birth.

*** Warning, if birth or birthlike stuff makes you uncomfortable, you may want to forego reading this. There is mention of birth related pain and bodily fluids.****

On Tuesday, May 28th, 2013, I had my 41 week prenatal appointment. The same appointment I had joked about to receptionist the week before that I would hopefully not be showing up for.  I was still very pregnant though, so to the appointment I went. It seemed like a pretty slow day in the office. Matt and I were called back right away, and my midwife, Regis, came to our room within a matter of minutes. She greeted us with a surprised exclamation.

"I can't believe you are still pregnant! I was sure something would happen this weekend. I kept checking my phone to make sure I hadn't missed you." 

Since my 39 week appointment I had been 4 centimeters dilated, so she was sure I wouldn't make it to my due date. I wanted to at least make it to 40 weeks though, I didn't mind waiting, I didn't really think I would make it to 41 weeks though, I had been having back pain and braxton hicks very regularly.

I was a little nervous for this appointment. I knew Regis' policy on induction. She wouldn't push anything on me that I wasn't comfortable with, which is a huge reason why I chose her when I was pregnant with Jack and decided to go back to her for my pregnancy with Henry as well.

As soon as she started talking, I was relieved. She was in agreement with me that waiting for spontaneous labor was the best route to take.   The only thing  was that we would have to do a fetal non stress test (NST) after my appointment, and another after my 42 week appointment if we made it that far. After she checked me for dilation {still only 4cm}, Matt and I headed over to the next room for the NST. 

I figured everything would be normal, I'm healthy, I only gained 25lbs, I'm active, and my pregnancy had been normal. Unfortunately though, things didn't come out normal on the test. I had a mild Braxton hicks contraction and immediately following that mild contraction, was a decel. The timing of the decel indicated that the placenta was having issues, and that meant that actual labor could be hard on Henry.

This was the last possible thing I wanted to hear. I burst out in tears, but I tried holding them back. Regis immediately handed me a box of kleenex, and encouraged me to let it out.

With this news,  I had a few options. I could still wait for spontaneous labor if i passed a contraction test but if my placenta was in fact deteriorating then labor could be hard on Henry, and if he wasn't able to tolerate labor, then that would mean I would have to have a c-section. My other option was to go over to the hospital and be induced that day, and that meant no water birth. Induction & water bith creates a lot issues with liability.

After talking it over, Matt and I decided that we wanted to make what we felt was the safest decision and with that we felt that induction was best. This was very bittersweet for me. I was so excited to meet Henry, and no longer be pregnant but I wanted to have a waterbirth so badly, and I didn't want to be induced because of the increased risks of interventions that come along with that, but given our situation, we felt that an induction was the better decision.

After my appointment, Matt and I went home and finished packing our hospital bags. I had packed mine and Henry's bag the week before, but I knew there were a few things I still needed to pack. As I was going around getting those last few things, I couldn't help but think "this is not how it's supposed to be." Over the previous week, well, months really, I had envisioned myself in labor, scrambling trying to get our things together. I pictured myself excited and having to pause frequently for contractions. Instead, I slowly walked through our house feeling  disappointed about how things were happening. (Which sounds so silly now, but hey, I was 41 weeks pregnant and emotionally exhausted!)

Around 2:30, we finally made it to the hospital. There, I met my first nurse Alé . I wasn't a fan of hers. Regis and I had talked in her office about not breaking my water and starting pitocin at the lowest level possible. Alé kept telling me that Regis was coming over to break my water after her office hours. She even went ahead and started preparing for it. I was so frustrated, this wasn't what we had discussed with Regis. I didn't talk very much with Alé around, I mostly kept to myself, and dealt with my frustration internally, except when I would take the occasional trip to the bathroom so I could let out my frustration and cry. Matt was a great emotional support through this. He helped me to try to stay positive even though this wasn't what I wanted. Bringing our little boy into the world healthily was the important thing. 

Before the pitocin was started my contractions were between 3-10 minutes apart, My pain tolerance is pretty high though, so I could barely feel them. Alé started the pitocin, but I started at one millaunit. The highest level of pitocin is eighteen  millaunits, so one was really nothing. After awhile she turned it up to two  millaunits, but then turned it back down to one because my body was responding so well. Looking back, I think my body was heading towards active labor on its own, and I may have gone into labor at home that night for all I know.

About 2 and a half hours after the pitocin was started, around 6pm, Regis finally came over to the hospital. She gave me several tough, but good options. Since being in the hospital on the pitocin, Henry had absolutely no decels! She said I could go home if I wanted or I could stay and see how things progressed. We ultimately decided to stay. As much as I wanted to go home and wait for spontaneous labor, I didn't want to risk Henry not being able to tolerate labor.It was a tough choice to make.

 After telling Regis what our decision was, she said that my water didnt need to be broken, and that we could wait and do as few interventions as possible, I was so grateful for this news! I was also grateful that it was time for the shift change for the nurses. Which meant it was time for Alé to leave. My new nurses name was Gail,and she had a student with her. I had put in my birth plan that students were allowed in my birth, so I was excited that there would actually be one there!

Matt and I spent the next few hours just hanging out with our birth photographer and good friend, Amanda Thompson, just waiting for labor to kick in, and slowly but surely, it did! Sometime between maybe 8-9 (could have been later, I honestly was really paying attention to the clock) my contractions started getting a little more uncomfortable. I think around 8:30-9ish Matt got up to use the rest room, while he was in there, I thought that maybe my water had started leaking, so I stood up, I realized then that it wasnt my water, but that I had lost my mucous plug, which meant my cervix was changing! I had a change of mood at this point, I was letting myself get excited for the first time that night.

Since things were progressing, we decided to go for another walk up and down the hallway, as we were halfway down the hall, I told Matt he needed to call Crystalyn, our doula. I had kept trying to text her but I kept getting interrupted by contractions. We ended up only doing one lap (maybe not even a full one), I think. The pain was getting to be more unbearable, I wanted to get into the jacuzzi tub to help ease the pain. {the jacuzzi tub can be used during labor to help manage pain, it is not the same thing as the birthing tub.} The pain had gotten so intense that waiting for the tub to fill up felt miserable.

Getting into the tub instantly brought some relief to the painful contractions. The jets against my contracting tummy, soft music in the background and the aroma of the essential oils I added to the water set the tone for me. Breathing deeply through my contractions helped get me through the pain. I was definitely in labor, but I was slightly in denial still. I had envisioned Laboring for Henry for months. It was hard to believe the time was finally here.

Each contraction seemed more intense than the last. I also started feeling kind of like I needed to push, but not quite. Earlier in the evening Regis had even mentioned that sometimes. some moms accidentally give birth in the jacuzzi tub. This may or may not have secretly been my plan if I couldn't use the birthing tub.

I think around 10:00ish Regis came in, maybe it was earlier or it even could have been later, I'm not sure. She looked tired. I was her only patient there, in fact, I was one of only three moms in labor and delivery that night. She watched me labor for awhile, and she asked me a few questions, but I don't really remember what she had asked. I think around 10:45ish She gave me some amazing news. I was still only at 2 millaunits of pitocin, and my body was in active labor. To my surprise, she said that since my body was doing the work, we could turn off the pitocin and I could have the water birth that I had so badly wanted. I couldn't believe it. I was so excited and relieved. 

Shortly after the exciting news, I got out of the jacuzzi tub and waited for the birthing tub to finish being filled. I labored on the bed for a little while, I have no idea how long. I remember my mouth starting to feel dry and asking for a Popsicle, the Popsicle was too sweet though, so I didn't eat much. This was the hardest part of my labor. The contractions were intense and waiting for the birthing tub was not fun. I was also starting to panic internally. "Can I do this? Maybe I wanted the epidural. Ouch, this hurts!" were all thoughts that went through my head, but  I knew I could do this. 

 After what felt like an eternity of waiting,it was time to go to the next room over to get in the birthing tub. As I got up from the bed I had a painful contraction and the person closest to me was Regis. I held onto her and she helped me through my contraction and helped me walk over to the next room. As we were walking over to the next room she said the most kind words to me. She said "I'm so proud of you for sticking to what you knew was right for you, you knew what you were comfortable with and I'm so glad you stuck to that." I was feeling so encouraged and blessed to have her there delivering my baby.

The atmosphere of the birthing room was perfect. the lighting was dim, everyone was calm, and i had the perfect playlist going. After getting into the room, I got on the bed that was in there and Regis broke my water. Henry was very low and in a good position and I felt comfortable having it done, especially because I kept feeling like it was going to break on its own any minute. Not long after that, I got into the birthing tub. It was 11:53, I remember this because I remember asking "Am I going to have him soon?" and someone replied saying something along the lines that I wasn't going to have the baby in the next seven minutes. (which I didn't.)

The water in the birthing tub was warm, almost too warm. Kind of like when you take a bath and its just time to get out because you almost have a hard time breathing. Thankfully, Matt and my doula Crystalyn provided cold wash cloths to help counteract the warmth. The contrast of warm and cold really helped lessen the pain of the contractions, which were starting to seem unbearable. I was in transition. With Jack, I was screaming at this point, I wanted the epidural, I wanted the pain to end. This time was different. I was silent except for the deep inhale and exhaling of my breath. I focused intently on getting through my contractions. In between them I rested, I laid my head on the side of the pool and let me body rest.  I was starting to get tired and this worried me a little. My labor with Jack was so long, and I didn't think I could get through 13 more hours at this level of pain. I should have known at this point that Henry was almost ready to make his entrance into the world, but for some reason, I was still in denial. Partly because while I was in unbearable pain, I was managing it well, but for some reason there was still some doubt in the back of my mind that I couldn't do it. Which was a lie, I could do this, my body was made to birth a child, I'm strong and I had prepared myself for this day since my traumatic birth of Jack. 

Then, it hit me. Henry was crowning. I wanted to say that, but I also felt like I had to go to the bathroom, so I didn't say anything. How embarrassing would that be? After the next contraction though, I knew for sure! Henry was crowning! My baby was almost here. I could feel him making his way down, and I could feel the most intense burning sensation I had ever felt, known as "the ring of fire". This motivated me to push, so push and push I did. For the first time during my labor, I let out a scream. A loud, high pitched "girl" scream. Thankfully Matt reminded me to be calm and to focus on my breathing. I was tempted to try and push Henry out as fast as I possibly could, but Regis and Crystalyn both reminded me to control my pushing, otherwise I would tear. I tried my best to control it, I wasn't sure if I was after that, but I tried, and within just a few minutes, little Henry was born. I was so relieved, my entire body felt like it could melt into the water. I couldn't believe I had done it. My sweet baby was born. There was no fear, there was no stress, he came into this world in a happy, peaceful way. 

Henry's birth was mellow and intimate. It was healing. The atmosphere of the room had a soothing ambiance. It was everything I could have asked for, for the birth of my son. 

From start of active labor, to the time of live birth was around 3 hours and 21 minutes. Henry weighed 7lbs 7oz and was 20 1/4 inches long.